Last time I explained how I fell into this amazing whirlwind of a journey. If you haven't read that post yet, read it first here.
Once I got the idea in my head to start this journey, that's when all of the craziness started happening. Sure I wanted to do this, but now I needed to be vetted and told whether or not I would even be allowed to. That's when all of the pre-screening craziness started. Dun, dun, dun.
Have you ever had an interview before, but didn't know anything about the job you were applying for? That's exactly how that phone interview felt like. I knew what surrogacy was, but to be honest I didn't really know much other than I would be pregnant for somebody else. My nerves were going crazy and I probably sat at my kitchen table just looking at my phone for thirty minutes prior to my interview.
I kept telling myself they would see my faults and flaws right away. Why am I even trying this, I'm just going to fail. You see, in the past few years of my life I have come a long way. I grew up in a very negative environment always being told that we would never have enough and that we were victims. I grew up believing that and it became engrained in my brain. I am not enough. But you know what? Screw that. I have worked on re-brainwashing myself to remove that negative. Sounds funny right? But I have been forcing myself to automatically think positively and force those negative thoughts away. It's hard work and in this situation, I fell back to who I always was before.
The moment that phone rang and I started the interview though? It all melted away. It wasn't an interview, it was a conversation between two women on a topic that we both feel passionate about. And all of those fears and doubts I was having didn't even matter anymore. I couldn't believe I was talking with this woman and the time was just flying by. Could this actually be happening for me? For a couple that I don't even know yet, but I get to give them this amazing gift? I couldn't believe it. But when the words, "I think you are an amazing candidate for a surrogate and I would love for you to visit the agency with your husband so we can speak with you both in person and move forward for the next steps," came out of her mouth I was floored. I was downright giddy. I'm actually doing this!
But that was just the first step. After that first phone interview, I had an in-person interview, a psychological evaluation for both my husband and I, and an in home visit. Yeah it's not all smooth sailing and there's a reason for the pre-screening craziness. These parent(s) are paying a lot of money to build their family.
I was sure that first conversation would be the hard part. Smooth sailing from here on out right? I was so wrong. But more about that later. Be sure to check back next week and find out what happens next in this crazy journey...